Parent Not Approved: Fun With Negative Reviews
My Favorite Marketing Moments
You know that saying, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” You can use this to your advantage in your marketing.
It’s Possible to Turn a Bad Review Into Good Marketing
Photo: The CW
Remember this infamous marketing campaign from the OG Gossip Girl? The reason our parents didn’t want us to watch that show was exactly why we wanted to. Give us all the sexiness, fashion, & soapy/edginess.
And what a bold move. Did the original Gossip Girl marketers attempt to dispute or hide from the noisy pearl-clutching? Nope. They knew appeasing those folks would ruin the whole point of the show. They also knew that the right audience for that show wasn’t the ones wearing purity rings or tying their self-worth to their virginity. In other words, the audience for that show would also piss off the pearl clutchers in their own lives, just by being themselves.
So, negative reviews from your haters- if they’re also your audience’s haters- can create instant kinship.
I know a lot of you bold but sensitive entrepreneurs live in fear of a negative review. Of putting your creations out in the world and receiving backlash. Of offending, of being rejected.
But, what you do with that negative review is a powerful way to get your people to find you and to gently let folks you wouldn’t enjoy serving anyway know that they should see themselves out.
Pushback Against Your Values Highlights Your Values
My pal, the brilliant Rebecca Beyer, did just that with a nasty review of her beautiful book: Wild Witchcraft: Folk Herbalism, Garden Magic, and Foraging for Spells, Rituals, and Remedies.
Becky is an incredible researcher and writer. Her followers love following her to learn not just how to identify plants and use them as food and medicine, but also because of her unique, historian’s approach that always orients herb lore in cultural context. She’s about sharing knowledge and respecting the boundaries of closed traditions.
Do you know what a breath of fresh air that is for marginalized folks who have been silenced, invalidated, and dismissed in many spiritual communities? Who are exhausted from endlessly explaining why cultural theft is not a victimless crime? For other folks who are interested in doing less harm with their privilege?
Becky might not be the author for folks who don’t similarly value ethics and social justice, but for folks who have been longing for an herbalism approach like hers- we feel good about spending our money with her.
Permission To Stop People-Pleasing
For humans socialized as women, many (most?) of us are conditioned to people-please, to avoid offending or causing any discomfort at all costs. No wonder many of struggle to show up as our full vibrant selves in our marketing when it comes time to sell our work and promote our businesses.
That’s why it’s so powerful to have examples of other femmes showing the fuck up in their own marketing. Being willing to lose people because they value living in their own truth so highly.
So many of us didn’t realize we are “allowed” to do that, and each femme we see doing that and winning gives us hope.
This is one of the things that drew me to my beloved business coach, Cera Byer. An incredible dancer in addition to being a coach, Cera often tells the story of how back in the day, well before she was making multiple 6-figures, a client messaged her saying she was nervous that her network would find out that her coach danced scandalously on Instagram. Even though her finances were tight at the time, Cera told the client she just wasn’t the coach for her then, and kept on dancing like the fabulous mofo she is. It didn’t hurt her business in the least.
I love that story, I needed that story. I chose Cera as my coach because that’s exactly what I want in a coach: one who isn’t going to tone herself down, one who isn’t afraid to twerk on Instagram because it brings her joy, one who isn’t ever going to coach me to people-please.
Maybe your ideal clients need you to show them how to handle challenges with grace, with pizazz, with good boundaries, with badassery.
No Need To Be Nasty
Just a quick note of caution before you laugh over the bonfire of your haters’ foolishness: this approach doesn’t require nastiness.
I don’t know what the hard line is between holding someone appropriately accountable and being vindictive, but I do think you should consider the context and what feels aligned with your character before putting someone on blast.
Calling names says something about you and your brand. Doxxing says something about you and your brand. Bullying definitely says something about you and your brand. Do you want to work with folks who are cool with these tactics? Something to think about.
On the other hand, sometimes public harm requires public accountability. Sometimes private apologies don’t do much to alleviate the pain of people who were publicly hurt.
I’m not going to tell you where the line is, that’s something you’re going to have to sort out by getting clear on your brand’s values. But sort them out, because while you can use bad reviews as good marketing, reacting impulsively to criticism might not get your brand the sort of attention and awareness that you want.
Regardless, I want you to recognize the immense power you have in telling the story of whatever comes your way. Use it wisely.
Want to be so confident in your values that even a bad review doesn’t phase you? Check out the Messaging Magick Kit.
