Why You Can’t "Just Get Over" Your Marketing Blocks
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"I should just get over it."
⬆️ This is a phrase that has been coming up a lot recently when I talk with clients and colleagues about what's blocking them from marketing their brilliant work, making the offer, following up with that person who was definitely super interested.
Then they'll tell me about a block that runs DEEP:
They're worried they'll be seen as "pushy," "salesy," or "asking for too much" and that they'll be somehow "put in their place" in a painful way.
They tell me about a discouraging or cruel family, partner, old boss, or scarring experience.
They know the block. They know how painful it is. Then they brush it off as "silly" and sigh that they should "just get over it."
Um, but. Ma'am.
Those blocks are there because they were *put* there.
You were conditioned, over many years of painful consequences, to install those barriers in your brain.
They're not a character flaw or a sign of weakness: they're conditioning.
They're not something you "just get over" with willpower.
They're something you shift with awareness, kindness, intentional PRACTICE, and support.
In other words: to vanquish blocks you were conditioned to have, you have to condition yourself out of them.
Let me tell you the story of a horse named Charlie.
He is very large, fast, intelligent, and sweet.
And DEEPLY suspicious of garbage bins.
Like, at least 80% sure a garbage can might decide to try to make him its lunch one day.
Back when I was a teen apprentice horse trainer, I was told that the correct response to a horse spooking - a fear response that may take the form of bolting, bucking, or other protest behaviors - was to establish my dominance and *make* the horse face the bin.
Which only resulted in MORE fear. Not only would the horse be scared of the bin, he'd be scared of the rider too. And it was only because he was more scared of the rider that he'd go past the trashcan.
I HATED this approach. It felt ick and awful and would often result in a dangerous battle of wills that left the ride alarming and the relationship fractured.
(⬆️ This is what you’re doing to yourself when you demand yourself to “just get over it.")
Luckily, over my years working with horses, I’ve found a better way to respond to their “spooks.” (In the metaphor, the spooks are your marketing blocks.)
Here’s how I react now when Charlie is terrorized by a garbage bin:
I stay calm. I acknowledge he’s afraid. I give him scritches and tell him he’s safe. I breathe with him. When I’ve got some of his attention back, I ask him, one step at a time, to approach the garbage bin.
I offer him the rein so he can smell it. (Yep, atop a frightened, 1000-pound animal, I intentionally relinquish control. Because fearful animals, and fearful parts of ourselves, get even more scared when their control and autonomy is taken away.)
Then, on the on long rein, when he’s ready, he stretches out his nose and maybe even bumps the bin…
Only to discover:
It’s just a bin.
Then, both of us relaxed, we go about our ride.
No battle for control. No punishment.
Simple acknowledgement of the block, addressing it with kindness, as many times as we need to, then moving forward.
If you haven’t been able to “just get over” your marketing and selling blocks yet, of course you haven’t. Perhaps you’d like some support to work through it, rather than just staying locked in a losing battle of wills with yourself.
Need that? Let’s connect.
Here are 3 ways I can be your 🌻🛼 Marketing Confidence Cheerleader 🛼🌻 TODAY:
#1: We can work together 1:1 in the high-touch, high-efficiency Season of Support container.
#2: You can join my Squad 🎉 of excellently ethical and eccentric entrepreneurs. (Season of Support clients get complimentary Squad 🎉 membership.)
#3 Know your sales, audience growth, and engagement are lower than you'd like, but not even sure where to start to fix it? The analysis paralysis is real! But I can help. One of my specialties is looking at a big old pile of data and extracting a clear next step. We can chat about it over a complimentary ☕ Zoom Coffee ☕! Grab a convenient time here.
