A real-life example of how to take what’s useful & leave the rest in the aftermath of a marketing disappointment

The fear of making a mistake and being punished for it is one of the biggest barriers to making irresistible marketing. If making a mistake means being punished externally by rejection and punished internally by shame and self-recrimination- no wonder so many of us struggle with perfectionism!

But, the truth is, sometimes precisely the insight you need to build the business you want doesn’t come until you’ve failed and learned from it. That’s right, buried underneath the disappointment of a flop is wisdom if you can bear to look for it.

So, I’m going to share with you what I learned from a flop of my very own. I know my marketing will benefit from these lessons moving forward, and I hope yours will too.

If you don’t have much time, here were my two main takeaways:

1. Don’t rush your launch. Adjust your timeline if your personal life needs your attention.

2. Don’t be coy about why they want it from you, and why it’s worth the money.

If you want the deets, keep reading for the full story.

The Tale of the Early Bird That Didn’t Fly

So, here’s what happened.

In late September, I started planning how I wanted to launch my Marketing Confidence Cheerleading Season of Support program. I’d had a fabulous soft launch already where I offered 1-off sessions at a magnificently large discount that had sold quickly and easily. I had earned an armload of glowing testimonials, and- best yet- I LOVED providing this service. It felt amazing to vanquish marketing blocks and light people up all in the space of an hour.

In other words: I was super confident and super stoked about this offer.

Meanwhile, my business coach, Cera Byer, was leading the Elemental Entrepreneurship Coven, of which I’m a member, through her excellent new Launch Alchemy Framework. The idea was we could all be preparing our launches in time to have spectacularly profitable Black Friday sales.

But, something about Black Friday has always given me the icks. (Maybe the colonizer capitalism party connotations?) So, I decided to give myself a shorter timeframe. I’d do my free launch workshop 2 weeks early and offer Season of Support at a ridiculously huge early bird discount until my birthday on November 19th. For some reason, I was quite attached to the idea of becoming more expensive on my birthday.

Everything was going along swimmingly until my beloved dog Wesley died suddenly, and I was gutted. My grief was so heavy I couldn’t work for several days despite having to tell clients that their projects would be delayed. And when I did get back to work, I was not working at full capacity. I had less than my normal level of focus, creativity, and enthusiasm to draw from.

What I should have done: changed my own damn internal deadline and pushed my launch back in order to make space for my grief. But did I? No. 

Here’s why I’ll choose differently next time.

Don’t Rush Your Launch- Even If You Have To Push It Back

When I got back to work, I had several client projects to catch up on. And if I wanted to simultaneously prepare my launch, I had to work overtime. Which I did, and it fucked with my sleep and my social plans. Which fucked with how I was able to show up in my marketing.

“I’m exhausted, I wish I could be sleeping right now,” does not exactly serve customer-come-hither vibes.

The truth was, grief was so uncomfortable, I’d fallen back on an old unhealthy habit of using work to distract from feeling feelings I didn’t want to feel. Resting would have meant feeling the pain of my loss. Resting would have meant I’d have to realize and accept I didn’t want to keep seeing someone. Resting would have meant I’d have to acknowledge that my body was tired and my mental health was in trouble. In other words: resting would have kind of sucked before it felt very restful, so I just didn’t rest! Even though I knew that resting was the healthy choice.

So, as I tackled my entirely unreasonable To-Do List, I mostly caught up with client work and then worked super late at night prepping for my freebie workshop: Why Nothing You’ve Tried For Marketing Has Worked & What To Do Instead. And it went great! I had a lot of signups, the folks that came live asked fabulous questions and stayed engaged throughout, and I closed out that day feeling like I’d done a great job. And I had.

But then I immediately crashed. Right after the “you can have this for free” part.

When it came time to actually sell, I had no juice left. I didn’t show up as much as I needed to in my marketing to sell my Early Bird deal, and when I did show up, it wasn’t with my most magnetic swagger & charm, because I was just too darn tired.

(See why I’ve been telling y’all that feelings make or break your marketing?)

As cute as the idea of being more expensive on my birthday was, this punishing timeline was (literally) not worth it.

So, here were lessons learned on that front:

• Give yourself enough room in your launch timeline for plenty of spaciousness. You want to be able to AMP UP your self-care during your launch, not go without.

• You are not “failing” if when life happens, you push things back. You’re being smart business-wise, and kind to yourself.

• Launching is a marathon, not a sprint. You gotta keep the energy high throughout- and you won’t be able to do that if you’re courting burnout.

Don’t Get Coy About Why They Want It

Being so depleted, I had a difficult time managing my discomfort of speaking directly about why my aligned customers need THIS offer from ME right now, and how- at any price- it’s an incredible deal for the value you get.

I zipped through my credentials & track record. The clients I’d helped. The experiences that led me to realize that it’s usually not the wrong strategy or tactic preventing businesses from being irresistible in their marketing: it’s almost always an emotional block. 

I glossed over how my storytelling abilities are literally award-winning superpowers that have been known to help businesses see growth and profits like never before.

I didn’t discuss the horror stories of trying to follow mainstream marketing rules as a queer Chicana and how it led me to find a way to approach marketing that was much more aligned with my values. Enthusiastic-consent ONLY, no coercive tactics. And yeah, doing it that way can be profitable AF.

I didn’t mention surviving domestic abuse and how it led me to start training to answer a sexual violence hotline (before the volunteer program was killed during COVID) where I learned how to talk with trauma survivors. There, I learned that being truly supportive means never telling survivors what to do. It’s much more empowering to remind survivors of their own agency, share information if requested, help them to weigh their options, and support them in making the decision that’s right for them. I learned how important it is to trust in folks’ ability to make the right choice for themselves... But, I didn’t mention how this approach informs how I approach marketing confidence cheerleading.

In my tired, overworked state, I couldn’t get past the discomfort of talking about myself. So I didn’t. I spent about 30 seconds on myself and my offer over the course of the 90-minute presentation. Which is a shame, because my backstory is dope. My aligned customers feel safer, more seen, more able to relate to me when they hear it.

In my tired state, I was also really uncomfortable talking about money! Why the investment was so worth it. You can stay stuck in your disappointing marketing results for God knows how long, or you can work with me for 3 months and get where you want to go a whole lot faster with much fewer detours. How this marketing clarity is going to save you from wasting time on doing things in the wrong order and money on courses you won’t use, coaching that doesn’t apply to you, or creatives before you’ve figured out your vision. How this program will never be this inexpensive again and how if you want to work with me at a bargain, now is the time.

Because I was so uncomfortable talking about myself and money: I robbed my people of truly grasping the opportunity that they were missing. I didn’t make them feel safe to make such an investment, because I didn’t feel safe enough to discuss the investment!

Here’s what I’d do differently next time:

• Don’t just read the bullet points of the offer. Talk through each one and why they matter. And talk about them with the love, excitement, and pride that they deserve.

• Boldly spell out my approach & my background, so they can make an informed decision about whether or not we’re a good fit.

• Talk money. Why it costs what it costs and why they’ll get a whole lot more than they paid for when they make this no-brainer investment.

Grateful for These Lessons Learned

I am actually really proud of myself for how I handled this disappointment. Yeah, I was bummed that no one took me up on my fabulous Early Bird offer. But I let myself feel my feelings about it- until I had enough brain space to get curious about why that happened.

And these insights are VALUABLE. I won’t be making these same mistakes twice.

I bet you if you can get curious about your last marketing “failure” you can find some pretty priceless wisdom too.

If you didn’t get the sales you wanted for your Black Friday Special, you’re invited to the Post Black Friday Business Shadow Work free online workshop 1:30-3 p.m. PST Thursday, Dec. 1. In this casual Q & A, get the marketing expertise and emotional support you need to make sense of why you did or didn’t get the results you wanted and how to use what you learned to make even more irresistible marketing moving forward. Register here to attend the live and/or get the replay.