You know what's a great feeling?

Waking up to an inbox full of "payment received" and your DMs flooded with, "omg, this is awesome! Can I get in on that payment plan?"

This is what has been happening after every. single. post I've made during the launch of my new service: 90-Day Custom Content Plan.

But... it wasn't always this way.

Actually, it took 2 years before I could make just one post and sell stuff.

Because it takes a while to build trust with your audience. Like any good relationship, it takes effort, showing up, managing your emotions, and practicing consistent, healthy communication.

And, to be honest- it took 2 years as a business owner for me to build those skills for myself.

I’d get in my feelings, start doubting myself, start projecting that others were going to doubt me too, and then I’d ghost on promoting my launches. And then they’d flop. Of course.

If I’m not showing my commitment and belief in my offer… it wouldn’t make sense for someone else to invest in my offer before I had fully invested in my offer.

Like if one person is consistently avoiding intimacy and communication in a romantic relationship, the person on the receiving end of the avoidance is only going to keep trying to connect for so long before they leave in a huff or forget about you.

Not a great recipe for healthy connection. (Helloooo fearful avoidance.)

And just like insecure attachment styles make it hard to sustain healthy, lasting, intimate relationships, insecurely attached marketing styles make it hard to get sales and build great customer relationships- and often unintentionally result in dysfunctional launches.

Attachment Theory

Yep, I’m talking about attachment theory- which posits that our earliest attachments to our caregivers profoundly influence our relationships later in life.

Here’s a super quick and dirty rundown of the 4 attachment styles:

The 1 Secure Attachment Style

• Secure: You learned that you could rely on your physical and emotional needs being met by your caregivers. Thus, you learned you were safe with others and on your own, because you could count on getting what you needed to survive and thrive. You trust yourself and others and are available for healthy connections and relationships.

The 3 Insecure Attachment Styles

• Anxious-Preoccupied: You learned your needs would be met when/if a caregiver was physically and emotionally present- but they weren’t always present. You blamed yourself for their lack of presence and your needs not being met. You developed a lasting negative view of yourself, fearing you don’t deserve to have your needs met. You learned that you were unsafe when you were alone and became terrified of others leaving you.

• Dismissive Avoidant: You learned that you could not count on your physical or emotional needs being met by your caregivers and that you were safest when you got your needs met on your own. You learned to mistrust others and to expect to be disappointed by them. Intimacy, connection, and vulnerability make you extremely uncomfortable.

• Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant: Your caregivers were unpredictable. Sometimes they would meet your needs and sometimes they would be dangerous. You learned hypervigilance, that you had to read and anticipate the state of your caregivers and respond accordingly in order to remain safe. So, you often demonstrate Anxious-Preoccupied and Dismissive-Avoidant tendencies depending on the situation. You are preoccupied with reacting to perceived danger even before tending to your needs. You learned to mistrust others and to blame yourself for your struggle to get your needs met. You have a hard time with consistency, commitment, and vulnerability.

If you want to learn more about the attachment styles, here is a great primer.

Here’s the great news: your attachment style can change. With support, you can recondition yourself to become securely attached if you so choose.

Attachment Style & Launching

Just like securely attached people are likely to enjoy the healthiest relationships, securely attached launches are likely to get the healthiest results.

Lemme do a quick, off-the-top of my head rundown of how your attachment style affects your launch style:

• Secure: I know my offer is great and I know people will love it. This is my belief even before I get sales or engagement on my offer. I demonstrate my belief in my offer and commitment to serving my people by showing up consistently in my marketing to make sure everyone who needs this offer has heard about it. I treat marketing like a service to my community and sales like a mutually beneficial exchange. If results aren’t what I expected, I take the lesson without doubting the value of my work.

• Anxious-Preoccupied: What if no one likes this? What if no one buys? What will that say about me and my business and the value of my work? *Shows up a lot in marketing for the first part of the launch- getting increasingly defensive. Personalizes all lack of sales and engagement. Gives up when not sufficiently & quickly validated by sales and engagement.*

• Dismissive Avoidant: What’s the point? I’ve had disappointing sales for a while. Why would this time be any different? *Ghosts or haf-asses a launch- reinforcing their belief that sales and customers will always disappoint them.*

• Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant: *Oscillates between anxious and dismissive launch actions. The inconsistency teaches their audience that their offers and energy change rapidly. It takes more time to build trust with their audience, often leading to burnout. They self-blame.*

How To Take Your Launch from Insecure to Secure  

Like many social wounds, it’s best to heal in community.

If your view of yourself and others was formed by insecure attachment to your caregivers, you can learn secure attachment by finding people it is safe to form secure, consistent attachments with. Like therapists, coaches, securely attached friends, partners, coworkers, and other folks working to heal their attachment styles.

These relationships act as mirrors, reflecting back to you habits and communication patterns you may want to reexamine.

Often, therapists and coaches will offer you feedback and even scripts so that you can communicate your wants, needs, and boundaries more effectively in your personal relationships.

Usually, insecurely attached folks need similar support to bring their marketing and launch habits into a secure place.

That’s why I offer Marketing Confidence Cheerleading to provide a safe and supportive environment for folks to build their trust in themselves, the value of their work, the amazingness of their offers, and their ability to communicate effectively in marketing to get the sales, customers, and engagement that they want.

And that’s why I suspect that the 90-Day Custom Content Plan has been selling so well. It’s basically 90 scripts for folks who feel their marketing communication has not been as effective as they want so far.

It’s easier to show up and practice consistent communication in your marketing when: 

✨ You know what to say

✨ You have a supportive marketing coach assuring you that what you have to say and offer matters

✨ You have a cheerleader hyping you up and helping you build the belief that you deserve to get what you want

If you want to have a securely attached, successful launch- I’d love to support you. The 90-Day Custom Content Plan is 66% off through July. Customers of the Plan are eligible for 33% off Season of Support Marketing Confidence Cheerleading as well.