How entrepreneurs can break the cycle

We can have a funny way of avoiding doing stuff that is important to us when the stakes feel too unbearably high.

And oh boi, do I see a lot of people struggle with this when it comes to marketing their beloved business and the work or creations that come directly from their hearts.

For example, in my Squad 🎉membership for big-hearted black sheep, rebel entrepreneurs, I offer weekly marketing prompts, challenges, reflections, and… pitch practices. They look a little something like this:

And, inevitably, one or two members will tell me: “I get so overwhelmed and intimidated by this exercise, but I know I need it.”

Overwhelmed and intimidated.Even though they know they need the practice. Even though messiness is invited. Even though they can ask not to have any feedback and it is part of the group’s core values to respect that. Even though it could take less than 5 minutes to do it. Even though they KNOW getting more comfortable explaining their offer will help them sell more.

Now, I’m not criticizing them. Because I get it. I’ve lowered the external stakes for this exercise as much as possible. But they haven’t lowered the internal stakes… yet. But this is the thing we wind up working deeply on in all my Marketing Confidence Cheerleading 🎉 services- lowering the internal stakes for marketing and reactions to our marketing.

I cannot overstate the importance of this work. It is the difference between staying with it til it works and quitting before it has a chance to. It’s the difference between burnout and collapse and a business that feels fun and rewarding. It’s the difference between constantly looking for reasons to feel bad about yourself and your business and noticing all the indications that you’re gaining momentum and success is right around the corner.

Let’s talk about it.

Avoidance Takes Effort

Speaking from personal experience, avoidance is an energy drain. It takes effort to keep steering yourself *away* and thus keep focusing on the thing you’re staying away from so as to stay away from it.

Now sometimes avoidance can be healthy, when you need to tend to yourself and build the capacity to face what you’ve been avoiding. Or when you don’t actually value the thing so it’s not worth your energy.

But needing to do the thing but not being able to force yourself to? That feels crappy! And then you have to pour energy into trying NOT to feel crappy! And while you’re busy doing that, not only are you not doing the thing weighing on you, but you’re also too busy running away to tend to your health, your wellbeing, and your healthy joy.

This is a cycle a lot of people experience with marketing their offer, though they may or may not be aware of it.

The Lightness of No Longer Having the Thing You Are Trying To Avoid Drag at the Corners of Your Mind

But what if you could interrupt that pattern?

What if you found ways to comfort and nurture yourself so effectively, that avoidance was no longer required as a protective mechanism?

This might sound trite and hint alarmingly at toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, and maybe-she-manifested-it-or-maybe-it’s-just-white-privilege.

So, let’s be real real.

It can be really challenging reconnecting with yourself enough to understand your needs and then prioritize getting them met.

Because, for people who struggle with this, getting to the point where you no longer need avoidance to protect yourself tends to require some major changes. Especially the shifting of some deep-rooted beliefs that no longer serve and then putting in the practice to adopt new, more helpful beliefs. For instance:

🌑 I’m only allowed to self-care when I’ve achieved enough/have X amount of clients/have made X amount of money. ➡️ I work smarter when I’m rested and resourced. 

🌑 I can’t handle discomfort. ➡️ Sometimes I actually seek out healthy discomfort in order to grow.

🌑 Uncertainty is terrifying and must be avoided at all costs. ➡️ I trust myself completely, which allows me to feel safe even in times of uncertainty. 

🌑 I can’t handle the pain of rejection. ➡️ Rejection is a natural part of life that has no bearing on my self-worth. Plus, I always learn a lot from rejection

🌑 I better just settle for the best that’s being offered right now. ➡️ I’m clear on what I want, have faith that I will get it, and I’m willing to say “no” to crumbs so I can enjoy the cake when it gets here.

When you make these belief upgrades, the internal stakes for doing something like marketing get a lot lower. Because your marketing could fail and you’d still love yourself. A campaign could fail and you’d smoothly pivot to a new idea. Sales might take a while to warm up, and you’d be able to stay calm and confident long enough for your efforts to actually work.

See? Avoidance isn’t needed to protect you from big scary consequences anymore. 

And you won’t have to waste energy running away from Big Scary Consequences that you’ve unpacked and processed into cute little muppets.

And with that energy, you can just do the damn thing. Like market your business and grow your clients, following, and profits.

Support Fast-Tracks This Process

It is much easier to make these shifts with skilled, aligned support.

🌑 You might not be aware of how you’re making the internal stakes for marketing your business too high without someone to help you see.

🌑 If you haven’t been able to force yourself to do it on your own yet, support is probably the missing ingredient.

🌑 Change is often uncomfortable. You may be more inclined to avoid doing this important work without someone to hold you lovingly accountable and sit with you and help you process when it’s hard.

🌑 The rewards for making these shifts are higher- since you will have someone who is watching for your progress, pointing it out to you, and cheering you on.

🌑 A skilled mentor can help you identify and prioritize the conditions you need to feel safe enough to do the work you’ve been avoiding. For example: maybe you need to write that sales page in a coffee shop where you can borrow other café goers’ and calm. And perhaps you need to block off coffee shop days to prep for each launch. Maybe you need to go to dance class before looking at your books.

Introducing Avoidance Avoidance Groups!

Since marketing avoidance is such a common block I help people with, I’m introducing a new regular event for all my Cheer clients: Avoidance Avoidance Groups.

This is a 90-minute group session where we bring our bodies into a state of powerful focus, borrow each other’s calm, hold ourselves accountable, and celebrate our progress as we face the stuff we know we need to do for our business but haven’t been able to force ourselves to do on our own.

We can get so. much. done. together in this environment. The Squad 🎉has already written an entire sales page in one session and come up with our entire 2025 launch plan in another!

You are totally invited. But to access you’ll need to be either a 1:1 client or to join the Squad 🎉, my membership for big-hearted, black sheep, rebel entrepreneurs. But hurry, prices go up February 1rst!